War is for Babies

War, what is it good for?

According to the 70’s hit by The Temptations and Edwin Starr, not a damn thing (“absolutely nothing,” to be exact).

This is not a dictum followed by most leaders in the world. Nor a good chunk of the population.

The idea that wars are a necessary, albeit tragic, means to creating peace, justice, and order in the world is widely accepted, even if this “cold hard truth” is reluctantly swallowed as it is spoon-fed by our supposedly wiser elders.

The war in Ukraine. Escalating conflicts in the Middle East. The battle for Taiwan. Surely, on the other side of these wars, everything will be better once the good guys win, right? Winning means pinning the other side down or annihilating them completely, and war is the path to winning. 

I disagree. 

I can already hear the choir of voices (even in my own head) saying this is “naive” and “pollyannaish.” I’m a baby who needs to grow up. I just need to eat what the adults are feeding me, because they know what’s best. 

Perhaps. 

But let’s try a wholly different perspective. I want to propose here that we’re all a bunch of babies… evolutionarily speaking. Individually, as we grow and mature, we theoretically become better and learning from our mistakes and making better decisions. We know what is “good” and “bad” not just from a moral perspective, but also because hopefully we begin to pay close attention to the consequences of our actions. Does this action bring me and others more suffering, or less? That is personal and spiritual growth. The same process holds true on a collective level. 

We must pay really close attention to whether war “works,” or in actuality moves us further away from our goals, whatever those may be. 

Addiction to Control

In my estimation, the idea that “war is going to work this time” is a fallacy. It is an addiction. Over and over, we are intoxicated by the belief that “if we can just control other people a little bit more,” we will finally arrive at peace. Once we get our way, the other people will evaporate and our problems will be gone. Yet we forget the consequences of our actions during the last binge. 

Think about how this works on the personal level. The “power over” approach may be effective, but only temporarily: a heinous parent abuses their children. A boss is overly demanding or critical. An authoritarian leader rules mercilessly. The person or people being controlled may subvert to the power of the controller, but soon enough, they are bound to rebel or act out their pain and aggression in other insalubrious ways. 

Nor does the attempt to control work outside the context of “power,” when all is said and done. Trying to control your partner, friend, family member, or anyone else’s behavior typically is ineffective and counterproductive. People don’t like to be controlled. It doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong, control does not bring us closer to the peace and truth we seek. Instead, it creates a tension that keeps us further from these goals. 

Yet, we remain convinced otherwise. If we just fight a little more in Ukraine, we will get to the finish line! Putin will lay down, acknowledge we are the winners, and let us be in control of the world! If you ask me, that is more naive and pollyannaish than suggesting a path of peace. The same is true on the reverse side: Putin’s illusions that the Ukranians or the West wouldn’t fight back also turned out to be a boyish fantasy.

Leading Through Peace

The stakes may be even higher as conflict in the Middle East escalates. Israel’s contention that Hamas can be exterminated and everyone will then simply live in peace is inaccurate and ineffective in the context of its aims, as is Hamas’ ambitions to exterminate Israel. Anything that is suppressed will sooner or later return, often with a vengeance. War and control do not breed peace. War breeds war. 

But, “what are you supposed to do when one side is a terrorist group and believes you shouldn’t exist?”, says the skeptical voices in my head. 

Well, one way to solidify someone’s intention to destroy you is to try to destroy them. That will ensure that hatred continues. 

But, “what is one supposed to do, then? Just lay down and be attacked?” 

No, I don’t believe so. This is not an argument against self-defense. 

If we truly want peace, we have to lead with peace. War guarantees we move further away from that goal.

I believe people are inherently good. Even for those who think a certain group “shouldn’t exist,” I believe we have a better chance of changing their minds not through war, but through more dialogue and more exposure to one another. 

I know this sounds squishy, but if the alternative is guaranteed conflict and destruction, would you give it a shot? 

Good leaders look for the light in other people, even when that light seems impossible to find. Leading through power, dominance, and violence has the veneer of being strong and courageous. But if you really want to be a big and brave man, talk to people. That is the hard way. War is easy. It also simply doesn’t works. We just need to pay enough attention so we can learn from our mistakes.