I Know I Am, But What Are You?: On Biden, Trump, and Owning Our Political Projections

Biden’s debate performance last Thursday.

There is not much that needs to be added to that sentence to convey what I mean to say.

The spotlight now shines brightly on Biden’s cognitive fitness (if it was only slightly dimmed before). The obvious question most people are asking is whether Biden is “cognitively fit” enough to run the country.

Like so many other phenomena in politics, and especially in today’s highly polarized environment, the judgment being cast on Biden carries a very familiar echo.

Not too long ago — and yes, still — many were questioning Trump’s mental fitness to be president. The cries were so loud that at one point, Trump actually took a MoCA test — a common screener used by physicians and psychologists for cognitive impairment and dementia.

First, many on the Left gleefully questioned and criticized Trump’s mental acuity. Then, wait for it… the script completely flips to the other side.

I believe we are going to see this irony more and more. It is almost as if the world is writing a satirical screenplay, her humor designed to transform our pain into higher awareness. Humor has a way of loosening our grip on ego and getting us to see truth.

Political Projection

What is happening here (and there, and virtually everywhere) is classic projection. 

Projection happens when we cannot own something within ourselves. It strengthens ego; it increases the feeling of separateness. Ego quickly capitalizes on power: the more separate we feel, the more we project, leading to more feelings of separation. This downward spiral of sanity is happening as we become more polarized in our political space.

It’s everywhere. For the last four years, Trump and Republicans have been accused of wanting to subvert democracy. Now, we increasingly see maneuvers that call into question the integrity of the accusers. For example, Trump’s “hush money” trial is seen by many as absurd and politically motivated. 

We see it in the aftermath of the debate. Trump is supposed to be the one motivated by power (versus service to the country )— he almost certainly is. But with Biden and his close inner circle refusing to step aside despite very loud and widespread calls to step aside (from within his own party, mind you), who here is motivated by power (raise your hand!)? 

Trump is the liar. Now, if Biden’s team wasn’t gaslighting about his cognitive abilities before the debate, what should we call the assertion that “what you saw isn’t real” in the aftermath of the debate? The suggestion that Biden was actually the winner that night? The assertion that he’s still sharp as a tack?

The Wisdom of Third Graders

Little kids know when someone is projecting. 

Someone calls you a “wimp,” and you say, “I know you are, but what am I?” That’s because you know their attack is coming from their own insecurities.

The same thing happens in our relationships as adults. We accuse our partner of being a certain way, when in reality, I’m the one who is that way (or at least we both are). We judge our parent’s shortcomings exactly in the spot where it hurts most — where they reflect a part of ourselves we don’t like or want to accept.

Part of maturing is taking ownership of our projections: we recognize that almost 100% of the time, the things we judge other people for are the things we are. If you spot it, you got it. It is no different on the collective level.

The beauty of owning our projections is that we get to see we’re not so different from other people. There is a process of softening that happens to our ego — the thing that keeps us feeling separate and superior.

Owning our projections is part of the path of spiritual growth. I believe it is part of our collective growth, as well. The world wants us to see our common humanity. Polarization and separation are opportunities to do so. The more we refuse to see ourselves in the other, the more obvious and absurd these projections become.

So, the next time someone accuses your side of being one way, you can say, “I know you are, but what am I?” But just make sure to turn the question around when you’re the one doing the accusing: “I know I am, but what are you?”