DEAR COVID: (A Series of Letters with Humanity)
Dear COVID:
I am taking this opportunity to reach out to you, to perhaps reconcile the tensions between us.
The past couple years have been really difficult (we both know this). Frankly, I was really scared when you first showed up. And I still am. I have done everything in my power to shield myself from you — assuming you are completely malevolent. I have been assuming you have nothing to offer but trouble.
I am starting to re-think this. You clearly aren’t going anywhere. Your latest form of resistance — omicron —is quite clever and formidable. It seems like the more I want you to go away, the longer you promise to stick around. Is there something I am missing? What are you trying to communicate? What is your purpose here?
I admit, I am not the best listener. My instinct is to impose my own viewpoint on the way things should be. It’s true, I try to control everything (okay, fine, I am a bit of a control freak). But my intentions are good — honestly. I just want to protect myself and minimize death and suffering. I’ve done everything in my power to do so: lockdowns, travel restrictions, vaccine mandates, and so on. And it’s worked — it really has! But maybe my attempts to wipe you away are not only ineffective, in the long run, but eventually harmful to myself. Maybe you have some wisdom to show me.
I welcome your response.
Sincerely,
Humanity
Dear Humanity:
Thank you for reaching out. It’s nice to hear from you!
I was starting to give up on the idea of having this conversation. I’ve gone to great lengths to try to get your attention. You’re right that the more you try to suppress me, the more recalcitrant and insidious I become. I don’t mean any disrespect, but you should know this — I, like other symptoms of the world, cannot simply be wiped away. As your experience has informed you, symptoms come with a purpose: they show you where you are off-track, or out of alignment with your destiny. COVID is no different.
You ask, specifically, what wisdom I am trying to impart. As a wise teacher does, I am not going to simply hand you the answers — no, given your tendency to intellectualize, I’d rather you reflect on this, feel it in your flesh and bones, so that you can take wise action.
Here’s a few pointers to get you started:
How effective have your control efforts been, on a social, political, and epidemiological level? Has there been any backlash or unintended consequences?
What shadows have I uncovered within you?
How have I exposed the stories you tell yourself about the world? Hint: think about the stories of science and technology, work-life balance, and most importantly, the story of “us” versus “them” (i.e., your divided self).
I welcome your response.
Sincerely,
COVID-19
Dear COVID:
Thanks for your initial reply.
You ask how effective my control efforts have been? And what stories and shadows I have uncovered?
Well, your latest variant (omicron) is surely casting doubt on any hope of eradicating you, permanently. The attempt to control my own behavior has also produced a sort of resistance and stagnation; I have an inner conflict around whether to use more control (e.g., vaccine mandates) or less control to achieve the outcome I want — you, gone — and it seems like these two parts of myself are fighting each other. Given the duality of everything, I am wondering if there will always be an opposing force to fight against — be it me (humanity) versus you (the virus), or the archetypal ideas within myself.
The internal battle has been ratcheting up. The Left side of my mind wants more mandates and measures to control you. The Right side of my mind wants freedom of choice. The Left has magnified you into something more magnificent and malevolent than you really are, in all likelihood. The Right doesn’t seem to take you seriously enough — some don’t even believe you’re real. Because of the nature of duality, the more polarized my thoughts get in one realm, the more polarized they become in the other. I am starting to realize how this works.
Maybe it’s not about buying into the story of one side versus the other, per se, but becoming more aware of this whole drama — the duality of humanity — playing out. Is it about noticing that I am not that? Just like the individual conscious beings within me, perhaps the path to awakening involves dis-identifying with the stories I am telling myself, and realizing that I am simply the consciousness that contains all of these stories. I am not a Left, or Right, or Centrist thinker, or neither the sum or average of all of these experiences — no that would still be identification. I am a unified being comprised of many different, and constantly changing, experiences, also following a path of evolution.
Gosh, there are so many stories I have told myself. For a while now (around 500 years or so), I’ve been really into the story of Science. This is the story that dictates much of how I see the world — and therefore the ways I attempt to diagnose, and treat, you. I see you as a physical specimen that offers no wisdom. I see you as something to triumph over with all my brilliant technological creations; if only I can get you to go away, then I could go back to living a happy life.
I don’t see you through a poetic or metaphorical lens. Because of this, I lose out on possible “diagnoses” and “treatment plans.” Some would say your presence is a sort of “Dark Night of the Soul,” or some sort of “initiation” into a new form of consciousness. (I really chastise myself when I think that way — it doesn’t fit within the story of Science). I don’t personify you (until this letter, of course), or ask why you are here, and what you want? I don’t even really meditate on what I may have done to bring you about; I don’t take personal responsibility. Instead of figuring out why and how I got here, I scramble to find more measures to control you. And I do so using the same narrative — more science and technology will save us — this narrative, itself, being perhaps one reason you have arrived, and are trying to get me to look more closely at.
Not all of me buys into this narrative. But the part that doesn’t buy into it, I call stupid. I accuse it of having conspiracy theories. And, truthfully, a lot of my thoughts are pretty wack-a-doodle and probably have no merit. But I never stop to question why I am having these thoughts in the first place? The more I call myself stupid and try to squash them, the more these thoughts and ideas pop up! What is the purpose of these other stories that contradict the dominant dialogue? Hmm… The psyche thinks in poetic terms. Maybe these “crazy” stories are not true, in the “real,” materialistic sense, but are metaphors for how I am feeling? If I don’t acknowledge my feelings — if I suppress certain parts of myself — than those parts have to be acknowledged, somehow. Like the relationship between the unconscious and the dreamworld, these parts are making themselves known through wild and fantastical stories.
These are some of the shadows being exposed. I am starting to pay attention to the stories I have been suppressing — some ugly and unhelpful, and others beautiful and full of potential for a more harmonious existence. In order to get to this more harmonious place, I have to begin recognizing all of myself, all of my stories. I have to tell the truth and continue asking, which stories are serving me and lead to a better future? Which stories lead to more peace, less suffering, and a higher potential? I need to recognize my inner duality and the interconnectedness of everything within.
Sincerely,
Humanity
Dear Humanity:
Nice. That’s right.
I am beginning to expose your psychic stories.
You indeed must ask, “which stories are helpful, and which are not?”
You need to be flexible. This is something you’re not very skilled at. Yet.
You see, control loves to have its way. Control is inflexible. It has an idea about how it should be and does whatever it can to justify its idea as the truth! Control = inflexibility X force.
You have tried control strategies so many times. Many of these have been absolute catastrophes. I get it… it feels good. But that’s not the lesson I am here to teach you.
The only way to thrive is to be flexible with your ideas. You need to learn to see through the duality of Left and Right. Instead of sticking to one side, you must have the psychological agility to move gracefully back and forth. You must continue asking, what is working? What is not working?
This is one way to grow up from the attachment to the story of science and technology. You’ve already done a good job noticing this, but the more you want me to go away, the longer I stay.
Look. You’ve tried everything in your power to eradicate me. Now, with the holidays approaching and omicron encroaching, you seem to be falling backward to square one, or worse. I am now more mutated and transmissible. In many, I can evade vaccine protection. As a bonus lesson, I may even have a shorter incubation period — the time it takes to show symptoms, making me even more of a menace.
I hate to say it — but it’s possible that your vaccines are making me more of a problem, not less. That means that those without protection could be even more vulnerable than they were initially. The cruel irony, then, is that the vaccinated could be making the pandemic worse for the unvaccinated. If you don’t hop on board the control train, you’ll be left behind to suffer. This could cause a devastating split — not just in health status, but also socially, politically, and spiritually.
I don’t want you to split any further. I want you to witness your divisions, so that you can fix it. That is your destiny — to realize your oneness. Until you start to realize this, I must keep becoming more aggressive, causing even further division, until my symptoms are enough to truly grab your attention.
With Love,
COVID
